The Signs You Need To Focus On Your Fragile Relationship.

Susan is a bossy career woman who strives to conquer men, conquer the business, and conquer everything because she plays to win.  When she took the lead in the business battle to win the deal, she was so good at maneuvering the tactics and strategy far better than what you can read in a war book.

One day, she works overtime late at night as usual. She feels lonely in her empty, fancy office and questions whether she wants to continue living this way.  Suddenly, her best friend, Amy, calls her to chat for a while.

Amy:

You sound exhausted.  Are you okay? I suggest you to take a short trip with John for refreshment.

Susan:

I’ve just gone through a bad breakup with John. He is my 16th boyfriend.

Amy, do you think I will end up as a lonely, single woman?

Amy:

No, you won’t.

Susan:

Why are you so sure?

Amy:

Because I know you. You are strong, capable, smart and resilience. 

Susan:

A woman doesn't need to be strong unless the situation requires her to be. 

No wonder I have become so strong simply because I haven't found the right man to pamper me like a child.

Amy, you know what?  I am tired of breaking up again.  Even though I believe how strong I am, I still need a man.  How can I make it work?  Do you think the long-lasting love is a fantasy myth?

How to find a perfect relationship partner?

Before this question, ask yourself what game you are playing.

Are you playing the game of "I don't need you"?

Do you believe no one is reliable enough to deserve your trust?

Do you think that you could only rely on yourself and prepare for loneliness?

Are you seeking a long-term relationship but caught in a trap of repeated disappointments?  A relationship is not disposable like fashion or furniture, easily replaced or removed. The thing is whether he is the one to solve your problem or create the problem for you.

What are the signs you need to focus on your fragile relationship?

Sign #1 - The problem of sharing leadership equally

The Equal Power theory, proposed by Willard Waller, suggests that when one relationship partner is more emotionally invested in the relationship than the other, the less involved partner has more power in the relationship. There is nothing a woman can do to attract a man to stay with her, even if she is brilliant, beautiful, and willing to make sacrifices.  Indeed, she has to do nothing if he is that into her.  It sounds simple, but not easy.  Indeed, your weight count on the other person is out of your control. But you have the power to choose for yourself. 

Read more about how to resolve the equal power issue.

Sign #2 - A couple is unwilling to share feelings through communication

Women tend to have much stronger emotions, imaginations, and feelings than men.  We love to share our stories and express our thoughts and feelings by talking through them.  Men, generally speaking, tend to be naturally wired to problem-solving when their partners want something simple.  When he finds no problem requiring him to fix, he has no idea how to relate the issue and tries to escape instead.  The woman regards the man as indifferent, and the man regards the woman as ridiculous. 

When you believe your husband is wrong, you push harder, throw out tantrums, you shout. He responds with even more resistance, triggering his defensive mode and shutting you out. Our certainty of rightness is what makes heated arguments heated.  Your frustration becomes complaints; grudges become insulting words; helplessness becomes sarcastic.

Read more about how to resolve this communication issue

Sign #3 - The argument is always about money

The tricky aspect of money is that it evokes negative emotions, regardless of whether you have it or are facing financial difficulties.  If a couple can earn sufficient money for their basic living expenses, they can secure 60% of the family harmony.  Never marry a man constantly struggling with money, no matter how attractive he may be.  Otherwise, you will exhaust your energy to solve the money problem.

Read more about how to resolve the money issue.

Sign #4 - Amplify the flaws of your partner

Everyone can love sunshine and happiness, but few will love chaos and decay. Never claim to love someone if you haven't seen anger, flaws, and contradictions. Can you accept the good, the bad, and the ugly of your husband? Time is dynamic. Change is inevitable in terms of aging, status, or earning ability.  Have you ever felt tired in a relationship and marital tensions get bigger? You are pondering he is not the man he was on that day you tied the knot, and you no longer enjoy looking at his extra-pound belly. 

Read more about how to resolve the expectation issue.

It is beautiful when someone falls head over heels in love with you, and then you get the fantasy that he is your perfect soulmate with whom you are willing to spend a lifetime romantically. He is the person who will be there for you through any circumstance, someone you can trust completely and feel safe with.

However, nothing can remain unchanged forever, and no one can be with you for eternity.

What will happen if you or your partner becomes attracted to someone or something else, causing issues in the relationship?

Are you tired of constantly ending relationships and having to start all over again?

Would it be great to keep the honeymoon phase going? What if you're with him for thirty years or even longer, and he still loves you more than anyone else? He would still pamper you even though you can be ridiculous, and silly like a child. You wouldn't hide who you are because he wouldn't laugh at you, judge you, or betray you.

A Long and Lasting Love in a Relationship

Are you seeking a long-term relationship but caught in a trap of repeated disappointments?  A relationship is not disposable like fashion or furniture, easily replaced or removed. The thing is whether he is the one to solve your problem or create the problem for you. Read This to explore how to nurture a long and lasting love in a relationship?

Leave a comment to tell me which is the hardest for you to say in a relationship?

a)    I am wrong.

b)    I need help.

c)    My conspiracy theorist friend was right.